| I use this too much! |
[01 Dec 2006|06:27am] |
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California-Phantom Planet |
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Stayed up all night again.
But this time I don't think i'll fall asleep, atleast not yet.
Nobody is awake, i'm just sitting here.
Boy how exciting!
Laying in their beds dead asleep, while I sit here, dead asleep.
I realized that i'm focusing way too much on the past and no matter how much I want something, it's not likely to happen. So now i'm planning to focus more on the present and myself, not others for once.
Hopefully today is good.
I'm looking forward to it, I guess.
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| let's run away |
[29 Nov 2006|06:01pm] |
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What's keeping me alive you ask?
winter.
Even though this one isn't coming close to some others in the past.
But then again the ones from the past don't come close to the ones I dream of having.
So i've been talking to my mom alot about moving as soon as possible. (next year)
If I had my way it would be to some place like, Seattle, New York, Portland, California, France, London. Places like that.
The options will most likely be Portland, or California.
Which i'm alright with and excited for. If it dosent end up happening i'll most likely move with my dad to California or maybe even Florida, even though i'm deathly afraid of natural disasters. But I guess they can occur anywhere anyways.
I sound desperate to move, but I am.
I want to start over horribly.
My trip to see Jack's Mannequin in Seattle was cancelled.
But I still get to go see Blood Brothers. I'm not really excited anymore though.
People just use me, I'm getting pretty used to it I guess.
I haven't been over in so long, about a year I think.
Yet I miss the old trips where I had no worries or cares.
I wish I could go back and re do everything. Trust me, I don't want to re live through alot of it.
But I think I could do some things differently and be alot happier right about now.
I just want to sit down by a cozy fire with some Tea and watch a movie, a christmas movie. :)
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[26 Nov 2006|11:39pm] |
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I'm so confused.
I don't even know whats real anymore
my thoughts and my actions are becoming tangled up
and I don't understand what is what.
I'm so sick of wanting
and waiting
and not getting.
I'm sorry for what I did
but if it went on any longer
it would have become a dull, unorderly lie
it wasnt right
i'm waiting for you to see that
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[26 Nov 2006|03:28pm] |
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I don't know who to trust anymore
I don't know whats going on anymore.
I could sit here and babble about everything thats going on
but what a waste of time that would be.
I don't even really know.
I don't want to.
I just wanna change everything
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| !!! |
[03 Nov 2006|01:50am] |
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mood |
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pleased |
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music |
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Rocky Votolato |
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I can't even believe how good things are going right now
but i'll make like a pessimist and expect the worst
atleast that means no dissappointment
well not as much.
Seriously things are falling so perfectly into place
i'm excited
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| ! |
[01 Nov 2006|01:00am] |
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So Halloween
was at first hectic
but then Emma came over and we took forever getting ready
and didn't even end up going trick or treating. hahaha
I changed costumes twice.
Then later went off and hung out with people
It was pretty fun.
not so great of a day,
but a really good night
I'm in a good mood!
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| uuuuuugh |
[30 Oct 2006|09:48pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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music |
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death cab |
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It didn't
never does
my own fault
I suck
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| ! |
[30 Oct 2006|01:48am] |
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mood |
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curious |
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music |
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leaves and wind! |
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I have a good feeling in my stomache.
I hope it stays!
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[30 Oct 2006|12:33am] |
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mood |
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lamelamelame! |
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music |
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The Blood Brothers |
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Last night was weird.
I don't even wanna explain
but some parts were good :)
Ahh tonight was the same.
Met up with Joseph and we put blood (frosting color) all over ourselves ha
it was fun. It got passed around everywhere and got all over.
By the end of the night all was pretty lame.
The show was good though
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| hooray update |
[22 Oct 2006|01:55am] |
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assholes
incidents
accidents
heartless people
confusion
replacement!
deception
lies
carelessness just careless beings
understanding
misunderstandings
lovers
late nights
mislead
pointing fingers
so used
the usual
understatement
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| finally! |
[15 Oct 2006|11:45pm] |
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moving to the south hill.
The house was built in the 1920's.
I get the entire upstairs
including two rooms and a bathroom.
Plus two creepy little old doors full of dust.
haha i'm excited.
Finally moving!
Never thought this would actually happen.
Moving in starting tomorrow :)
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[13 Oct 2006|01:27am] |
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At dad's place with Mar
got back from the show earlier
wasnt too bad
saw alot of firmiliar faces :)
It was nice.
I'm in a fairly good mood now
tomorrow should be good
hanging with Mar again tomorrow
hopefully Em too.
Then going to the show at the blvd
should be fun fun fun.
aha
Mar got another high score on rock and rocket
haha
I think it saddens people to see her high score and know that they will never be as grand at it as Mar :)
haha i'm proud to call her my best friend.
iiight.
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[12 Oct 2006|09:00pm] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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music |
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The postal service |
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I stayed up til like 4 something last night
but i'm not really any more tired than the usual.
I watched (kind of watched) "Buying the Cow" ha and "The Virgin Suicides"
Just did some school work and now i'm getting ready to head into town.
staying at my dads tonight. He's out of town and Marlaina is coming over to hang out with me.
Hopefully it's fun.
I need to have fun
Havent really had any in a while.
Anyyyywaysss.
Emma and I...
we're going on a boy hunt soon
should be great :)
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[05 Oct 2006|11:29am] |
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Okay it's been awhile.
Nothing really important that I want to say
but everythings been stupid lately
hopefully this changes
i'm doubtful.
Maybe moving soon!
But doubting that too.
So until then
i'm gonna sit here with my raspberry sorbet
and probably get really really fat.
cool.
I chronicled the days you made me want to live
Memorize the way that it felt and then I turned it into this kiss
Tonight I’m wearing my best smile and hope to make me worth your while
I’ll be the best mistake you’ll ever make
From the lack of sleep and the bloodshot eyes
To the nervous kiss and the butterflies
Does this make any sense at all
She said, she said
We‘re not sleeping, and I’m not breathing
If this means anything at all
I won’t let you leave me anymore
If this holds insignificance, I’ll have the hearse follow the ambulance
No medicine exists to make my lungs work again
Let’s shake and burn, like an addict
My hearings dead, only static
If I said your smiles all that mattered
Would you save my life
We‘re not sleeping, and I’m not breathing
If this means anything at all
Don’t let me leave you anymore
Don’t let me leave you anymore
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